Vol. 4, No. 2, April, 1999

My Story of Christ in Me
By Carol Black

The Lord Jesus is very special to me. He has given deep and true meaning to my life now that I know Him in a personal way.

I knew about God in my childhood and teenage years but never understood the meaning of Jesus dying on the cross for me, His infinite love for me.

When I reached my junior and senior years in high school I began getting involved in drugs. The peer pressure was so strong that it forced me to choose who I would associate with. I was soon being formed into the person they desired me to be.

Church played no part in their lives but it still did in mine. I made an effort to go to Mass each Sunday but my friends thought I was being a hypocrite. So did I, but I felt so empty when I didn't go. After Mass I was uplifted but that soon left because the word of the Lord had nowhere to take root and to grow.

I lived my life in the fullest way I knew. I had a good job, lots of friends, a steady boyfriend, and always had time for the next party.

My brother and sister-in-law had a personal relationship with the Lord and would share how Christ was personal to them. I wanted to be as happy as they were but didn't believe that Jesus could be the answer.

My mom invited me to go on a Parish Renewal weekend, and so I went as a favor to her. The Spirit really opened my heart to the talks the priest was giving. My brother, who was there, continued to share the Lord's love and His word with me all weekend. God's word pierced my heart, and I accepted the Lord Jesus as my personal Savior.

For the first time since my early high school days, I felt the freedom to be myself again in spite of what anyone thought. I felt so free, so uniquely loved by the Lord. Jesus cared for me personally. He loved me and He died on the cross for my sins. The joy that filled my heart was so great that I wanted to share this experience with all of my friends. Some of them were open and others caused me a lot of pain and sorrow because they rejected me. They could not accept this new life I desired to live with Jesus. In spite of their rejection, their influence and pressure no longer had that hold on me to cause me to change my mind. I continued seeking the Lord. This new relationship with Jesus made me happier than I had been with any person. Knowing the love of God encouraged me to go forward.

Now, during Mass, God's word is able to take root and grow in me. I am challenged to allow Him to be Lord of my life in all my daily decisions. My boyfriend is now my husband and we have a boy, Jason, and another baby on the way. Joy and strength and a meaningful outlook on life are my companions, even in the midst of difficulties. Jesus continues to draw me closer to Himself. He is faithful and has never let me down. "The steps of a man are from the Lord, and he establishes him in whose way he delights; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord is the stay of his hand" (Psalm 37:23-24).